I Badly Want to Ditch My iPhone For the New Nokia Banana Phone

The 8810, announced at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, is, of course, a new version of the phone that Keanu made popular in the Matrix series twenty-two years ago and will be available for purchase in May.

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Every couple weeks, mostly due to self-loathing, I find myself perusing the internet for flip phones. I hate how much time I dedicate to my iPhone, wonderous device though it may be, so in much the same way that I daydream of “escaping it all” to some remote mountain cabin forever, I lust after the fantasy of a simple mobile phone with just enough features to keep current. Give me a device that can make calls and place texts with the ability to take pictures and play music.

Problem is, actual bare-bones flip phones are few and far between, despite (or, more possibly, in spite of) their perpetuity on television shows that feature drug cartels.

Nokia, of classic cell phone fame, has just re-released one of their originals with an updated look. The 8810 “banana phone,” announced at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, is, of course, a new version of the phone that Keanu made popular in the Matrix series twenty-two years ago. It’ll be available for purchase in May. The 8810, manufactured for Nokia by HMD Global, will feature a camera, 4G coverage and a small color screen interface, replete with apps. Its battery is said to last 25 days. Most importantly, the 79-Euro phone will come in bright yellow and black colorways and feature a sliding front-face that answers and ends calls with a cathartic thumb flick or palm whack.

Is this the bare-bones phone of my dreams? Not really. Is it dope as hell and an appropriately fun modern throwback? Damn right. Will I actually ever kick my iPhone habit? I don’t want to talk about it.

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