
It’s a perfect day. You’re pedaling along between La Rochepot and Baubigny in France’s Côte de Beaune region, a wheel of epoisses and a baguette ancienne tucked in the front basket. A little tight on good wine. Sun warm on a crisp day. Your girlfriend rides alongside and looks at you affectionately. You do that thing where you reach out and touch fingertips. Then you hit a little bump in the dirt road: You don’t even know how to ride a bike, and now there’s spittle on your Macbook Pro trackpad. Fortunately, that’s all about to change, because you’re about to buy your first bike.
This is not an article about component groups, frame geometry or the benefits of different carbon layup schedules for achieving optimal stiffness-to-weight ratios. It’s an article for people who get a headache from that type of talk, for those who have never worked in a bike shop and who simply want to do some recreational riding, commute to work, enter a charity ride, or just see what it’s like to wear padded spandex shorts. Let’s get started.
Your Chariot Awaits: Road, Mountain or Hybrid?
Buying a bike is a challenge, the good kind, like trying to pick out a cut of beef at the butcher shop. That’s because the bike market is an option-rich environment for beginners. In practical terms, there are three genres of bikes — road, mountain and hybrid — which overlap this way and that, eventually splitting and splintering into sub-categories ad infinitum. If you happen to inherit a bike or barter for one with a neighbor, consider it a blessing; otherwise, the best bet is to drop in at a handful of local bike shops armed with some basic knowledge about the kinds of bikes available and type of riding you intend to do. Pay attention, lest you find yourself rolling up to the office on a tandem.
Road Bikes: Light, fast and really swell-looking with spandex, road bikes are characterized by skinny tires juiced to high pressure, “drop” handlebars that allow the rider to tuck into an aerodynamic position, and a drivetrain that uses two front chainrings and a 10- or 11-gear rear cassette for a total of 20 (or 22) “speeds”. These bikes are meant for pavement, though a handful of famous professional races like the Paris-Roubaix let riders shred cobblestone. There are sub-genres of road bikes that include everything from touring bikes for traveling long distances with a bit of luggage on board to bikes built exclusively for triathlons.
Ideal for: Commuting, exercise, travel (within reason), leaving posers in the dust.
Brands to consider: Scott, Trek, Orbea.