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Opinions & Essays

  • Scallop-Essay-Gear-Patrol-Lead-Full
    Archive

    Scallops in the Raw

    The two fishermen who delivered the scallop shells walked right through the back kitchen door of the restaurant like they were barging into their own home, big and fishy-looking.

  • Chasing-Sheep-Gear-Patrol-Lead-Full
    Archive

    The Dangerous Futility of Sheep-Chasing

    The average Scottish sheep weighs between 100 to 300 pounds, lives ten to twelve years, breeds seasonally and, somewhere inside its stupid, thick skull, thinks it’s an absolutely magnificent creature. This is because, in Scotland, it has no natural predators.

  • Pumpkin-Beer-Gear-Patrol-Lead-Full
    Food & Drink

    The Pumpkin Beer Problem

    Back in 2011 The Atlantic reported on “The Divisive Pumpkin Ale”, alleging that the style had become synonymous with increasingly stale and overdone flavors. This is still the (very subjective) argument for people who loathe the stuff.