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Pssst. Hey, kid. Over here. You want to buy some new sneakers? Boy, have I got a deal for you. Keep this shit hush-hush though, because this is for the real ones and the real ones only. Amazon is currently slashing prices across a curated selection of classic sneaker styles, and if you long since busted through the last pair you scooped with all the running you’ve been doing lately, there are plenty of solid options to choose from. (There’s no need to boast, dude. Chill. Nobody likes a braggart.)
No matter where your brand loyalties lie, Bezos’ trillion-dollar brainchild has you covered. I’m talking Nike, Adidas, New Balance, and more! The gang’s all there. God, what a motley crew. There’s definitely a “three sneaker brands walk into a bar” bit to be had somewhere here, but I can’t be bothered to tease it out for the life of me. What, you want comedy with your savings now too?! That’s waaay above my pay grade, man. I only go where the deals are.
Apologies if I offended your refined sensibilities, pal. I’m sure it’s nothing a new pair of sneakers can’t help.

Stan Smith Leather Sneakers
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$80.00 (20% off)
Make like Gavin Rossdale and cop yourself some very good tennis-inspired gear.

Supercourt Sneaker
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$121.00 (34% off)