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In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean — I’m going to cut you off right there, pal. Christopher Columbus was not a good dude. It shouldn’t be controversial to say that at this point, but here we are. Sure, he was a person of certain historical significance, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he was also a genocidal lunatic hell-bent on crowning himself the intrepid discoverer of a New World when the people already living there were perfectly happy without him around, thank you very much. That’s the tea, sis. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Despite all the hemming and hawing surrounding the original namesake of the holiday weekend, it tends to fall right around the time of year stores are looking to offload a whole lot of inventory. And offload they are, in the form of some pretty sweet deals on electronics, homewares, clothing, accessories, and basically anything else you can get your hands on. Honestly, what better way to further discredit the man’s already-tarnished legacy than by succumbing to your own basest instincts and spending an absurd amount of money on, like, a fancy crock pot or something? America, baby!
Welcome to the holiday we should all sincerely refuse to call Columbus Day. Here’s what’s going down sale-wise this weekend. (And a very happy Indigenous People’s Day to everyone but fans of Christopher Columbus.)