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The total number of station wagons Mercedes-Benz sells in the United States is pitiably small, barely cracking five figures in any given year. This is particularly true compared to the number that fly off showroom floors in Europe. Still, the company keeps at it, working to appease the rare enthusiasts stateside or, perhaps, hoping that the sluggish pendulum of public taste will eventually swing back in the wagon’s favor. For those who do see the great appeal of a roomy vehicle that isn’t a sky-high, top-heavy monstrosity, the company has given us the fiercest yet in the AMG E63 S Wagon, the sport-tuned version of the E400. Only 300 of these pups will reach U.S. speed traps. It is, of course, an upgrade from a humble, conventional station wagon — in this case the E400 — to a 603 hp, 627 lb-ft bruiser that can deliver the kind of road trip that will thrill, or terrify, the kids.
The Good: Did I mention that 603 hp, 627 lb-ft of torque? In a station wagon? That’s the most obvious “good” in this picture. The second-most obvious is the drift mode, in which 100 percent of your prodigious torque can be sent to the rear wheels, permitting insane burnouts anywhere you want. There’s also a nicely tuned, adjustable air suspension that keeps the car planted even in the tightest chicanes. Bringing up the rear: that wagon configuration, which allows you to haul stuff and even catch some Zzzs in there if a road trip yields crushing fatigue… and the inability to pay for hotels thanks to the fact that you just spent $107,945 on a nuclear-powered station wagon.
Who It’s For: On a recent trip to Germany, I couldn’t help but notice how many sport wagons I saw bombing up and down the Autobahn. In Europe, the wagon never left. It’s logical, smart and practical — and to many is actually a more appealing visual configuration than the sedan. Besides, why not have the extra space back there? But there’s no accounting for taste, apparently, so U.S. drivers rejected the idea decades ago, on the flawed assumption that they would become like their dads if they bought a wagon. So this car is for folks who aren’t insecure, weak-minded sheep. There, I said it.
Watch Out For: Being A) a Mercedes and B) a station wagon, this is an undeniably large vehicle, tipping the scales at a pavement-pounding 4,700 pounds. It feels — and for that matter looks — like kind of a heavy thing, but Mercedes uses all of its available tricks to dial out that mass. Another quirk that might be discovered during particularly hard driving, which I experienced while pummeling NCM Motorsports Park in Bowling Green, Kentucky, is the car’s pre-accident belt-stiffener and the Pre-Safe Sound feature. In the former, the car will cinch up your belt if it anticipates an accident, while in the latter it will play a loud static-like noise through the car’s stereo, triggering an acoustic reflex that protects your ears from a far louder accident that’s on the way.
Both are brilliant, of course, but in track driving the car was frequently spooked into thinking I was going to hit the car ahead of me, and fired off both features, causing momentary disorientation as well as a bit of discomfort until the belt sheepishly relaxed itself when no big crash transpired. Ye of so little faith, E-Class! (That said, it was cool to actually experience the Pre-Safe Sound effect, a curious feature that also happens to be one of those rare things, like airbags, that Mercedes won’t just fire off during a press event to demonstrate.)
