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Your neighbor to the left just bought some loud sports car; on the right, a shiny and expensive family SUV. How cute. Revzani has just revealed the TANK (all caps, thanks), a steroidal nightmare SUV that will not only haunt your neighbors’ dreams, but also crush their stupid, puny “cars.” Good luck with the Homeowner’s Association, by the way.
Look at the thing: you can surmise all you need to know. Still, the specs are impressive. A 6.4-liter, 500 horsepower V8 with 430 lb-ft of torque moves this beast down the road, or the trail, or the…I dunno, lunar surface? You can also outfit your TANK (which is a fun thing to scream at your neighbors whenever they cower in your rumbling presence: “YA LIKE MY TANK, MARK?”) with night vision and optional ballistic armor for some insane reason. There are LED lights all over the place, and an “Off-Road Extreme Package” adds huge tires, six inches of lift and suspension upgrades. Inside, the cabin looks comfortable, luxurious and simple; tech abounds, as do various leathers. There’s also a tow package — you know, for the utilitarians among you.
Best part is, the rear doors are “suicide” style, and open backwards; they’ll help your poorly adjusted and either thoroughly embarrassed or gleefully vile children climb in and out with ease. If you’ve got the cash and lack a rational view of the world, Rezvani is taking orders now.
