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The Land Cruiser, while subjectively “awesome” by dint of being a super-capable off-roader SUV replete with luxury and tech conveniences, is stupid. It’s too big, it guzzles too much gas, it’s too unnecessarily impractical. This is, fair enough to say, an unpopular opinion. I don’t care — if you think otherwise, kindly stuff it. If you’re shuttling around fewer than three people in any sort of urban or suburban setting, you’re engaging in nothing short of silly, irresponsible, macho posturing. Forget the Land Cruiser. Buy a silly, impractical, obscenely fun two-seat sports car instead: the 86 coupe.
Sell your gear; you can’t fit it. Put the kids up for adoption; they can’t fit either. Forget towing anything; you don’t need a money-pit boat anyhow. Hold on to the extra $60K; you’ll need it for speeding tickets and tire replacements. All you need is this tiny coupe, a curvy road and some muscle relaxants to calm your facial muscles after every commute, because they’ll be frozen into a wide grin.
For a third of the price of Toyota’s titanic four-wheel-drive eye-roll machine ($31,500 for the loaded example I borrowed), you get a car that is sexy to behold, supremely fun to drive and also (*gasp*) makes sense in all the driving contexts your (admit it) less-than-rugged life takes you. It’s good on gas, kicks the back end out easily thanks to fully defeatable stability control (a rarity these days), has no more technology than is absolutely necessary and — most importantly — earns you massive boy-racer street cred. So it doesn’t matter that it’s witheringly uncomfortable after just 30 minutes.
2017 Toyota 86
dewhurstphotoEngine: 2.0-liter flat-four
Transmission: six-speed manual/six-speed sequential automatic
Horsepower: 205
Torque: 156 lb-ft
MPG city/highway: 21/28
MSRP (base): $26,255